Rock Your Box: DJ Dan Murphy
| 01 March 2010
Big mouths can be good and bad – it all depends on the situation, writes Dan Murphy.
Big mouths get a bad rap, and it’s usually from people like me. There are occasions when they can definitely be an advantage, like when that hottie you’re chatting up at the bar yawns and you realise that he can dislocate his jaw. Other times that advantage can be seriously compromised, like when you get your hottie home and find the only reason he wants to dislocate his jaw is to inhale the entire contents of your fridge. And freezer.
Worst of all are the problems that arise from what actually comes out of the big mouths. This is where I come in. I seem to have a real knack, some would say innate talent, for saying the exact wrong thing at the exact wrong time. Over, and over, and over again.
Picture this: Mardi Gras a few years ago. I’d booked in a bunch of gigs that weekend with the intention of only working and going home to sleep in between. Unfortunately, after a few Red Bulls, rest was not an option, so of course I did my best to get rid of the excess energy on the dance floor.
Now usually I’m not one to call in sick, but I had a gig the next day that I knew I was not going to be able to do as I would have crashed and burned by then. I very professionally called the venue to ask if it would be possible to organise a replacement. I spoke to Eve (names have been changed) and explained that I really needed to get some rest. She put me on to Adam who I explained the entire sob story to. He said they’d sort it out and told me to look after myself and have a good sleep.
So the next day I’m whirling around the day club after several Red Bulls. I’m introduced to this guy and we start chatting.
“How’s your morning going?” he asks.
“Oh. My. God. I have had sooooo much fun today!” I think I may have even waved my hands like a helicopter to emphasise the point.
He looked me up and down. “And how are you feeling?”
“Amaaazing!” I exclaimed and swirled around like Julie Andrews on top of that mountain in The Sound of Music.
His friend laughed and she said, “it’s a pretty awesome morning huh?”
“The BEST!!!”
“So you’re feeling great? Not tired at all?” he asked.
“Not in the slightest.” I replied, “I don’t think I could lie down and sleep even if you paid me!”
“Oh really?” He thrust out his hand to shake mine. “Hi. I’m Adam. And this is Eve.”
My face dropped and so did my arms, “Uh huh…”
“We both spoke to you on the phone last night about your gig, which should have been, oh, right about now.”
“Oh.” I looked from one to the other, my jaw hanging open, revealing the full extent of my big mouth. Sheepishly I said, “there is absolutely nothing I can say right now at all that’s going to make me look good, is there?”
He smiled and replied simply, “no.”
Thank God he had a sense of humour about the whole thing, and I was allowed back to work there for my next shift. Big mouth and all. So next time you put your foot in it, just have a wee think of me and be safe in the knowledge I’ll most likely be stuffing both my feet in my big mouth at that very moment in time.
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